Update on baby White:
After a very happy visit with our specialist last week, we are SO relieved to let everyone know that our baby has only a tiny amount of fluid left in his heart. Thank you God and thank you everyone for your continued love and prayers.
I think back on the past couple of months and feel so grateful for this miracle that was given to us. I don't know why, but I do know how lucky we are and think about all those families that aren't.
I still worry, later down the road, this may all point to something after he is born and we may be faced with some new information...but at the same time, our doctor told us that we may never have any type of medical explanation for the cause of this abrupt formation as well as (almost) disappearance of this fluid.
I feel like after 7 months of being pregnant I can finally relax and enjoy the rest of this pregnancy. I don't think I ever let myself go there, or even think about who he might look like, if he would be anything like Elliott or any of the "normal" pregnancy type stuff someone might think about, just because of the fact I didn't feel like I should get my hopes up. Although, I always felt like, regardless of the outcome, this child's life was worth something...his life mattered, and God was using him for something.
I came across this blog the other day, as I read it, I remembered that same feeling driving to the pediatric cardiologist's office when we were told we needed to have our child's heart looked at, because they weren't able to tell us that it was normal and had formed correctly....
What she said was:
“In my darkest moment today, I told our doctor today that I had come to peace with God using Lucy for whatever it was he was trying to accomplish---but I wanted her back when he was done. I know it does not work on my terms like that, but that's the deal I want to make. God, you can use her (although I don't like it or understand it), but I want her-- I need her-- back when you get done.”
Isiah 49:16 says: The Shepherd knows his sheep. He knows each one by name. The Shepherd knows you. He knows your name. And he will never forget it. I have written your name on my hand.
He knows our child and has written his name on His hand, Landry Bishop White.